Wednesday, April 9, 2008

love in the time of blogging

okay, so i realize that by the very fact i am writing this on my blog, it will be quite ironic and possibly self-incriminating.  but i was just kinda thinking the other day about how prevelant "the blog" and similar "web 2.0" phenomena (i.e. youtube, facebook, etc.) have become.  suddenly everyone and their mom (but rarely their grandma) has become a published internet-author.  and at the same time i began thinking about how everyone is churning out more and more "mass communication", reaching out to be heard and, more importantly, to be known. and yet it seems that all this mass communication has had a diminishing effect on individual communication. 

maybe its just me, but i think that since the advent of blogging, the amount of personal emails that i write to people (and people write to me) has probably gone down. (i'd really love to see some kind of statistic on how blogs have affected individual emailing.  anyone wanna take a poll?)  at the least the size of the emails has gone down considerably.  now its like: "doin good.  how bout you?  check my blog for more."  maybe you remember back in the day when if you wanted to write your friends basically the same things about yourself, you would at least have the decency to copy/paste a paragraph into a personal e-mail and keep up a semblance of individual communication?  (c'mon, you know you've done it.  admit it! :)  now there is this great big "digital, global village" where we all live right next door, but remain strangers... or at best just give a quick wave across the virtual lawn to one another. 

its like we are willing to put effort into pouring out our hearts into cyberspace and can only hope that someone, anyone will listen or appreciate it (which really means appreciate us).  some may say they just blog "for themselves"... i don't buy it.  if that were true, there's this antiquated device called a journal/diary we'd be using instead.  and though i have seen a few random blogs out there that really get "discussion" going on some controversial topic, i don't know that i've seen a comment that echoed back a deep, heart-pouring-out response.  in fact, the public nature of a blog makes it near impossible.  like lovers who whisper in seclusion, perhaps the intimate relationship of true friends is meant to be hidden from mere observers.  its like everybody is out there in cyberspace trying to be heard and the more people talk, the more we forget how to listen.  people are longing for someone to hear their heart and answer in kind.  what i suppose is a little disconcerting about the age of blogs is that we think that we can actually do this outside of real, deep, one-on-one personal friendship.  granted, i think blogs can maybe link people up, help begin new friendships (or rekindle old ones), but its deceptive to think that mass posting can replace good, old-fashioned, individual communication.  it can't.  not that any of us CONSCIOUSLY think that, but it seems that the very nature and popularity of the blog subtly imply it.  

perhaps in turn we blog also to have a voice in the world, to matter on some universal level, to contribute something of worth.  as a medium of information, a mass communication device, yeah, its great.  businesses have caught on to it and are using it efficiently, as have churches and anyone that is trying to get some certain information "out there".  that's lovely for the business world and to some extent for churches/ministries... in the case of individuals, i think it again boils down to the desire to be known; for someone to value what i have to say.  to "matter" in that sense and even contribute something to "humanity".  here's the problem with that last one though: "humanity" doesn't exist.  you will never have a conversation with humanity, never meet humanity and shake its hand, because there is no "humanity", there's only people.  which means that we're back to personal friendships. 

i see this truth in Jesus' life as well.  sure, there were times He preached to the masses and that's okay in ministry and effective to some extent, BUT most of His time was spent with 12 guys that He called His "friends".  Jesus was under no misconception that humanity could be changed on some ethereal, global level.  but He could and did pour out His heart into the lives of 12 specific men.  humanity can only be contributed to by contributing to real people.  Christ did not die for humanity, He died for all men, for each person, for me.  and that brings me back around to the first point: that all this pouring out of our hearts into the dark void of cyberspace is really reflective of our deep desire to be known and to matter to someone.  i love the lyrics of this song by don chaffer called the worst is my being alone about a conversation between two friends as they sit by the sea, and i think it nails this desire inherent in each of our hearts:
he said, "kerri, i don't think i've ever wanted as much
to be free as i've longed to be known,
and of the things that i hate as i look at my life,
the worst is my being alone."
and the song ends out:
but at the pulse of the waves, they both turned around
thinking someone was calling their name.

if only we really knew how we are known beyond all that we can hope for, how we matter to the God who created us, that we matter to death for Him.  that He is the One who desires to listen to our hearts and answer in kind.  that beyond the faint hints in the ocean's waves and sunsets and thunderstorms that He is calling our names, and that He calls us friends, beloved.  we are completely known by Him who is. (see Psalm 139)

well, i suppose i'll end my rambling thoughts.  i'm interested to hear people's opinions on all this (all 3 of you who read this blog, ha!).  don't worry, i won't judge you for posting a comment (as long as you don't judge me for blogging :).

10 comments:

wildflowerwendy said...

Hmm. What I personally like about blogging is how it keeps me connected to people that I don't have time to email individually. And it's interesting, coming back to the states, that I already had a couple friends here that I hadn't had before, because of xanga! And it's even more interesting to realize that they're genuine friendships in spite of how they started out. I've thought that was surprising and quite cool.

benjamin_morrison said...

i agree that blogging and other such things are great for meeting new people and beginning friendships.  my point was basically that this cannot REPLACE individual interaction (be it by way of email or other forms) and hope for it to be really deep (authentic, sure, but deep, only to an extent).  at some point its got to take the plunge and go one-on-one otherwise it remains not a deep relationship.  i'm all for blogging (just in case that wasn't obvious by the fact that i do blog :), but i also think there is, if you wanna call it this, a "danger" of keeping everything on the more surface, "for-the-public-eye" level.  anyway, i'm glad that xanga has allowed you to meet some cool new friends.  

wildflowerwendy said...

yeah of course, I understand and completely completely agree.

benphen said...

supper insight Benjamin, thanks for throwing this beacon out there in the proverbial  global consciousness LOL :) - good article. Seriously thought i think the deception in all this communication is that since we are saying EVERYTHING we end up saying nothing, and since everything has been "said" - then it's all mute. So I think that the future is about curating information verse trying to make something original - Same with video, and even Celebrity, it will come down to being redundant. Maybe reality will become interesting again?!  -Ben Phen

kristenwheeler said...

very insightful.and I agree. And like Wendy said, I have a few friends- now good friends- that started on xanga. But of course, xanga interaction is not enough to sustain a friendship, or like you said, to replace real, individual conversation.

wesik said...

Brother,Real relationships are truly a gift from God, and when they can be cultivated is great...as long as we let them truly grow into fruition.  So often the relationship my look nice on the surface but there is no sweetness of the fruit or at the center of the relationship, so often we never get to the core of people.  The a typical fruit here in the States is shiny, big, and beautiful.  BUT, it often doesn't have much flavor or satisfy.  But often the fruit in Ukraine was often dull, smallish and not uniformed color.  BUT, it was soo sweet and satisfying.  What i am trying to say is we can display such polished things and not have really any substance at all.  I would not blame it on cyber media or other things we often just try to protect our SELF to try to put up false fronts and try to fool others.  When really deep friendships are laying down our self, listening allowing others to our core and actually taking time to get to the core of someone else not caring about the outward.i guess i just miss my friend!

benjamin_morrison said...

ah wes, i miss your coloful analogies!  i totally agree with you and would also not blame the blog phenomenon but ourselves!  i think the blog is just a place where that truth is very clearly reflected and the shift in the way people relate to each other almost hints at the mass swing to a more and more superficial way of relating.  good insight, my bro!  .... i hope to see my friend and kiss his kiwi head....  i hope.  (i'm posting this on my site cause its probably more likely that you'll read it here than on yours :).

Greg Silva said...

Hey Ben! Of course I remember you from the little get together in Irpen. Just send me an email about the girl that moved to Bila Tserkva. Do you have contact info for her? Does she speak English? We'd love to have her at church in BT. Just let me know. I'm looking forward to the next time we can all get together.Blessings,Greg

JakeMedlong said...

Well said Ben! ; ) You've voiced something that I've thought about for some time now.I can't wait for the next chance to steam it up again as well!! We surely did not have enough time our last visit.

templestream said...

Hey Ben, Great article, it helped me re-consider my own thoughts about blogging and actually was one of the influences God used to help me start a blog! I agree that there is a danger of losing sight of personal communication. Jesus had 12 disciples for a reason.  But if balance is maintained there are great possibilities! If you'd like to read my article "To Blog or not to Blog?" it's the first blog at my new sight xanga.com/templestream. His Blessings, Rick