equal opportunity baby

okay, so i just realized that i've been putting all our newest photos of abby on my facebook (since there's this handy plug-in that exports pics directly from iphoto to facebook).  and i thought that abby needed a little representation on xanga, too.  so here she is in VIDEO (which is worth a whole lot of pictures).  she's totally hooked on the movie "cars" so this little clip is of her doing her lightning mcqueen impression.  enjoy!

back in the USSR?

i just was reading about a proposed change to the constitution of Ukraine under the article "concerning freedom of conscience and religious organizations".  for those of you who read ukrainian and are interested in the details of the proposed changes here are a few links:

read the proposed changes (in Ukrainian): click here (on this page click

Проект Закону 21.04.2008 to open the word file with said proposal)

to compare the changes (which reference the original constitutional article on religion) to the original: click here (in Ukrainian)

to read about how unhappy the Ukrainian buddhists are about this proposed law (and i totally agree with them), click here. (in English)

the basic gist is a few additions making life harder on newer churches (read non-eastern-orthodox): a proposed annual RE-registration of a new church for the first 10 yrs. of its existence (those of you in Ukraine who are even vaguely familiar with this process know that once is bad enough), and changing the minimum number of citizens necessary to register a church from 10 to 50.

in addition to that there are specific additions to make it harder for foreign leadership within the church (or at least statements which are xenophobic in nature, even if they don't change the actual way things are done).  whereas the previous article states only that foreigners are allowed to carry out ministerial functions in the churches that have invited them, the new addition states "foreign citizens do not have the right to take part in the government of religious organizations in Ukraine".  also it forbids religious organizations whose "governing center" is not in Ukraine from owning property in Ukraine (implying Roman Catholics with the HQ in Rome or Buddhists with the Dalai Lama in... where is he again?  possibly also applying to JW's and Mormons?)  This particular law would not so much apply to protestant Christians here, since there is no centralized authority center, but the principle behind it is still one step away from kicking all foreign religious workers out.

this is all suspiciously similar to what is already in place in Russia, stating that only religious organizations having existed in russian territory for 50 yrs. or more have full rights, kicking out foreign missionaries, only allowing the practice of Eastern Orthodox Christianity in all armed services, and generally Putin being the high priest of the Russian Orthodox Church. 

BUT in Ukraine the good news is that this amendment is only being proposed.  it was given to the Rada (Ukraine's Parliament) on Apr. 21, 2008 by Genadiy Moskal' (see pic below) with a request to take action on it within 2 month's time.  That means it may be coming to a vote very soon.  so please PRAY that this bill would not be passed (if it is the Lord's will).  it would be the beginning of possibly more restrictions on religious freedom in Ukraine.  here's the guy who put it forward, pray for his salavation, too. (oddly enough he's not on Yanukovich's team, but in the "Our Ukraine" block (the western-leaning side)).

 

"The king’s heart is in the hand of the LORD,
    Like the rivers of water; He turns it wherever He wishes." -Proverbs 21:1

i'll post something less political next time...

love in the time of blogging

okay, so i realize that by the very fact i am writing this on my blog, it will be quite ironic and possibly self-incriminating.  but i was just kinda thinking the other day about how prevelant "the blog" and similar "web 2.0" phenomena (i.e. youtube, facebook, etc.) have become.  suddenly everyone and their mom (but rarely their grandma) has become a published internet-author.  and at the same time i began thinking about how everyone is churning out more and more "mass communication", reaching out to be heard and, more importantly, to be known. and yet it seems that all this mass communication has had a diminishing effect on individual communication. 

maybe its just me, but i think that since the advent of blogging, the amount of personal emails that i write to people (and people write to me) has probably gone down. (i'd really love to see some kind of statistic on how blogs have affected individual emailing.  anyone wanna take a poll?)  at the least the size of the emails has gone down considerably.  now its like: "doin good.  how bout you?  check my blog for more."  maybe you remember back in the day when if you wanted to write your friends basically the same things about yourself, you would at least have the decency to copy/paste a paragraph into a personal e-mail and keep up a semblance of individual communication?  (c'mon, you know you've done it.  admit it! :)  now there is this great big "digital, global village" where we all live right next door, but remain strangers... or at best just give a quick wave across the virtual lawn to one another. 

its like we are willing to put effort into pouring out our hearts into cyberspace and can only hope that someone, anyone will listen or appreciate it (which really means appreciate us).  some may say they just blog "for themselves"... i don't buy it.  if that were true, there's this antiquated device called a journal/diary we'd be using instead.  and though i have seen a few random blogs out there that really get "discussion" going on some controversial topic, i don't know that i've seen a comment that echoed back a deep, heart-pouring-out response.  in fact, the public nature of a blog makes it near impossible.  like lovers who whisper in seclusion, perhaps the intimate relationship of true friends is meant to be hidden from mere observers.  its like everybody is out there in cyberspace trying to be heard and the more people talk, the more we forget how to listen.  people are longing for someone to hear their heart and answer in kind.  what i suppose is a little disconcerting about the age of blogs is that we think that we can actually do this outside of real, deep, one-on-one personal friendship.  granted, i think blogs can maybe link people up, help begin new friendships (or rekindle old ones), but its deceptive to think that mass posting can replace good, old-fashioned, individual communication.  it can't.  not that any of us CONSCIOUSLY think that, but it seems that the very nature and popularity of the blog subtly imply it.  

perhaps in turn we blog also to have a voice in the world, to matter on some universal level, to contribute something of worth.  as a medium of information, a mass communication device, yeah, its great.  businesses have caught on to it and are using it efficiently, as have churches and anyone that is trying to get some certain information "out there".  that's lovely for the business world and to some extent for churches/ministries... in the case of individuals, i think it again boils down to the desire to be known; for someone to value what i have to say.  to "matter" in that sense and even contribute something to "humanity".  here's the problem with that last one though: "humanity" doesn't exist.  you will never have a conversation with humanity, never meet humanity and shake its hand, because there is no "humanity", there's only people.  which means that we're back to personal friendships. 

i see this truth in Jesus' life as well.  sure, there were times He preached to the masses and that's okay in ministry and effective to some extent, BUT most of His time was spent with 12 guys that He called His "friends".  Jesus was under no misconception that humanity could be changed on some ethereal, global level.  but He could and did pour out His heart into the lives of 12 specific men.  humanity can only be contributed to by contributing to real people.  Christ did not die for humanity, He died for all men, for each person, for me.  and that brings me back around to the first point: that all this pouring out of our hearts into the dark void of cyberspace is really reflective of our deep desire to be known and to matter to someone.  i love the lyrics of this song by don chaffer called the worst is my being alone about a conversation between two friends as they sit by the sea, and i think it nails this desire inherent in each of our hearts:

he said, "kerri, i don't think i've ever wanted as much
to be free as i've longed to be known,
and of the things that i hate as i look at my life,
the worst is my being alone."

and the song ends out:

but at the pulse of the waves, they both turned around
thinking someone was calling their name.

if only we really knew how we are known beyond all that we can hope for, how we matter to the God who created us, that we matter to death for Him.  that He is the One who desires to listen to our hearts and answer in kind.  that beyond the faint hints in the ocean's waves and sunsets and thunderstorms that He is calling our names, and that He calls us friends, beloved.  we are completely known by Him who is. (see Psalm 139)

well, i suppose i'll end my rambling thoughts.  i'm interested to hear people's opinions on all this (all 3 of you who read this blog, ha!).  don't worry, i won't judge you for posting a comment (as long as you don't judge me for blogging :).

happily behind the times...

i've recently listened to and read a number of works on the emergent church and the infiltration of postmodernity into the church.  statistics that churches calling themselves emergent are the fastest growing "movement" in christianity today speak volumes about the current state of the philosophical fabric of "the west". 

the trend towards postmodernity in america and europe (aka, "the west") is evident in just about everything.  i thought the other day about all the recent films i have seen that are as blatantly post-modern as a hammer to the forehead. the sheer amount of them is staggering. (must be part of that whole life-imitates-art-imitates-life thing.) 

perhaps you're asking yourself, "what exactly qualifies a movie as post-modern?"  well, the way i see it, the first conspicuous sign of a post-modern (pm from here) flick is that you get an overwhelming sense of the movie having no real plot.  there's no flow of events, just chaotic happenings.  there's no real climax to the film; people kind of do whatever they're doing for an hour and a half or two and then it stops.  next, everyone in the movie looks like they're on prozac for most of the duration of the film (or like they ought to be).  there is an overwhelming sense in the characters of purposelessness and loneliness.  and as the characters have no purpose, hence the absence of actual plot.  (the best, or worst rather, recent example i can think of is "friends with money".  if you were unfortunate enough to see it, you know what i mean.  if you didn't see it, i DON'T recommend it.)  the overwhelming message is "life doesn't have any meaning (and so neither does our movie)".  the literary critic fredric jameson says of pm art (film and other mediums) that it is "the transformation of misery into beauty" and that it contains a "deathly quality… in a way that would seem to have nothing to do with death ... on the level of content."  good description.  even in a pm film that has nothing to do with dying, the viewer is still left with the feeling of emptiness or death.

the whole pm system of thought (which i am not about to attempt a summary of in a blog entry) has slithered its way into the christian community as well.  hence, the birth of the "emergent" movement.  now, i'm not saying that EVERYTHING put forward under the "emergent" label should be tossed out.  the emphasis on cultural relevancy (or "contextualization"), personal relationships and actual experience of God (juxtaposed with mere ritual) are truly positive things (none of which, however require adoption of pm thought, merely acceptance of Biblical teaching).  the sad part is that the emergent movement in typical pm fashion, cuts the boat loose from the anchor of the soul, Christ.  the emergent movement promotes deconstructionism, redefinition, removal of what in the philosophical world is called a "meta-narrative" (what we'd simply call one objective truth for everyone), and a bag full of other problems.  (for a pretty good summary of the emergent movement, listen to this teaching by mark driscoll (formerly a leading member in the emergent community): click here.)

in contrast, ukraine is currently very much in the "modernism" mindset (which has its own problems, of course... materialism being one of the greatest ones.)  we've not caught up to the west in that area, thankfully.  ukraine is an odd mix of old and new.  in many ways this country is much like america in the 40's.  people are much more interactive within society (think like open markets, public transport, and neighbors borrowing things from each other like matches or sugar).  most everyone is convinced that there is an objective truth (though they certainly don't all agree what that is).  they are struggling to find an acceptable order in areas of politics, family, work, etc., rather than the trend to reject order.  there is, in general, an accepted understanding of moral absolutes, and even the existence of God.  at the same time, just about everyone and their mom has a cell phone, mp3 player (younger generation) and a dvd player at home.  the younger generation (30 and under) are starting to catch on to many of the techno-trends of the west as well as the philosophical propaganda of the west.  the moral/spiritual climate will likely change very quickly as the younger generation grows and the older generation dies off.  well, all that to say, it makes me really glad that we here in ukraine are way "behind the times".

on a completely separate note, me and lena, and the navarros and two married couples from our church were able to go up to kiev for a married couples' retreat in feb.  it was a great, refreshing time.  pray for God's strengthening of all the marriages in our church (i'm counseling with one couple currently and Jesus is definitely doing great things).  here's a pic from that retreat. 

from left to right: igor and anya dikiy, lena and tom navarro,
grisha and valya yaromenko, ben and lena morrison

teaching from john 15

i was finally able to upload a teaching (my connection is faster now but still not that fast).  this is from when i shared at cc in east albuquerque, nm this jan. while back in the states (no, not the "big one" but another one there that is involved the work here).  its half testimony about the church here and half sharing out of john 15 on Jesus as the true vine.

the works of His hands

the Word talks about how God's glory is visible in creation around us.  after my trip to the states in january and getting the awesome blessing of seeing some of God's natural wonders, i'm so reminded of that.  i was able to go to carlsbad caverns in new mexico (thanks, loque!) and death valley in california (thanks, fenya!)  i just wanted to share some photos of those places and a couple of one of the most wonderful creations of all, little abby.

the first set of pics is from carlsbad caverns.  unfortunately, you can't tell from the pictures how massive it was.  there were rooms that were multiple football fields in length and width (and at one point something like  300 ft. floor to ceiling).

an empty cave pool



looking back at the entrace we came down into the first chamber



gypsum crystals catching the light



sunset at newport beach, california



mosaic canyon, death valley, ca







a lizard in death valley



a joshua tree (yeah, like the U2 album)



zabrieskie point, death valley



badwater basin, death valley - lowest dry elevation in the western hemisphere



desert plant in bloom



moon rise over death valley



salt crystal formations at the devil's golf course, death valley



amargosa chaos, death valley



daniel and janette carter and me in a tux!
(i was a groomsman at their wedding jan. 19th)



beautiful winter mo-mo



she is so much fun now!

well, that's that.  hope you enjoyed the pics!

mo-mo's first blog entry

adoinweoiwepowe... just kidding.  were not actually gonna let her type.  we just thought we'd write down some of the things she's saying at 15 months old.  granted, this will probably only be interesting to our relatives and other young parents.  so here goes...

da/yeah - she says both pretty efficiently
no - just started saying it.... wish she didn't know that one quite yet.

eyes - sounds like ice
ears - sounds like eews ... and ushi (russian for ears) - sounds like ui
hair - sounds like care (only the r is more like a w)
nose - sounds like no (with a long o at the end)
toe - sounds like it is
pupik (russian for bellybutton) - sounds like poopa
sisya (russian for "boobie" or the equivalent thereof) - she's good as saying that one... especially when she wants to drink.

close - sounds like kwoze
open - sounds like opay
up (when she wants to be picked up) - sounds like hhhap (really aspirated)
down (when she wants down) - as is, sometimes without the n
help (when she needs it) - sounds like hewp
cuckoo (the russian version of "peekaboo") - sounds like cakoo
more (when she wants more of something) - says it like she's british (just say it like you're british and you'll understand)
vot eto (russian for "that thing"... when you are asking what someone wants) - teh to
hello (specifially when answering the phone) - awo
bye-bye - pretty much as it is.  in russian (poka-poka) it comes out like "ptaka-ptaka"

cheese - sounds like chees (with an s sound at end instead of a z)
chai (russian for tea) - sounds like kai
kashka (russian for cereal) - sounds like katka
banana - usually comes out as nana
waffle - comes out like dapple
chicken - sounds like chicka
vitamin c - usually sounds like minamina or just C
cookie - sounds like cooky (with a long oo like in moon)
juice - sounds like chooce

light (the kind you turn on) - sounds like aight
car - sounds like she's british
phone - sounds like pho
mama - got that one
papa/daddy - daddy (sounded like daduh) was her first word!  papa came a bit later
poo-poo - she's got that one down... and touches her heinie and says it when she's done it
kolyaska (russian for stroller) - sounds like kaka
ball - sounds like baw
shoes - shoo
bible - sounds like bye-bow
multik (russian for cartoon) - sounds like mooti
lopatka (russian for paddle) - sounds like  WAAHHHH!!!  just kidding.   sounds like "wapat"

she can also do some animal sounds:
barks like a dog "woof woof!"
trumpets like an elephant - don't know how to write how that sounds... just turn on the discovery channel
meows like a cat "neow!" (that's not a typo... she says neow)
used to roar like a lion (only small and cute). 

way to go, abby!  you can say over 40 words!  here's a picture of the sweet little monkey for the new year.  happy holidays to all!  (i seriously hope to put out an update on us before i leave for california next saturday).

thoughts from a public restroom

last week lena, abby and i went to kharkov to share thanksgiving with all our friends in "the armpit of ukraine" as we affectionately refer to it as, along with the hoffs coming up from dnepro.  it was a great time and good to be there and get to visit vanessa in the hospital (we are so glad you're home now, nessie!) 

well, while we were there visiting vanessa, on our way out of the hospital i had to use the bathroom.  i went into the public one on the first floor (for visitors as opposed to patients) and the trash can next to the pot was overflowing with paper covered with fecal matter, the toilet was leaking around the base with some rancid, old rag mildly containing the flow and general squalor.  now, having lived in ukraine for almost 6 years, i am used to these kinds of bathrooms.  you learn to pee while holding your breath after a while (i personally think they should make it an olympic sport :).  but what made me laugh was that in this restroom was a brand new, shiny, polyvinyl "euro-window".  now, for those in the states who don't know, this is like a status symbol in ukraine that you're moving up in the world.  as i held my breath and did my thing, i thought about the people that will walk by that window outside and think "hey!  i bet this is a nice place inside!"

what struck me about it all is how representative this little toilet-room is of how we often live our lives.  we invest lots of effort and resources into making sure that people walking by us think we've got it together, that we are on our way up.  when in all reality, inside there might be a smelly load of.... well, you get the picture.   we want to make sure people see us as those who are always at church on time, carry a large Bible with us... whatever it is that we feel will give the outward image of godliness, when in reality we neglect the real issues in our hearts.  on the inside we might be reeking.  Jesus used a similar illustration about the pharisees "you are like whitewashed tombs which appear beautiful on the outside, but inside are full of dead men's bones".  i know its too easy for me to get sucked into the game of making the exterior presentable while the inside continues to rot.  may our first concern be always what's inside, what God sees.  i heard a quote a while back that i think sums it up well "much of the misery in the world would be alleviated if people were more concerned with being rather than seeming." 

in addition to my last post:  it seems that many people who've commented and others i've talked to lately about the health care issue are all for a universal system and see the benefits....  well, the fact is, its not gonna happen by wishful thinking.  now, i'm not advocating picketing dc unless that's your thing, but if you're interested, take 30 seconds to fill out the petition info at this link that will automatically be forwarded to your congressperson expressing your support HR676 - the universal health care act.  if you wanna see change, click here to do something about it. 

oh!  and a huge praise report: we've FINALLY got a facility for our church to meet in!  we are working on renovations now and hope to have the first service there in a couple weeks.  i'll try to get some pics up soon.  tom has a few small one's up at his site.  click here to see them.  keep praying for Jesus to lead us through this process and to be glorified in even greater ways!

and here a couple pics of abby trying on my winter boots... she hopped in them herself.

what would Dr. Jesus do?

imagine a place and time where if your house caught on fire a call to 911 would not be enough to give you hope.  imagine that one had to purchase "fire insurance" for one's home (and i don't mean to replace lost goods).  imagine if firefighting was a competitive business market with different providers.  and imagine if upon arriving at the scene of a fire, before letting even a drop of water fly, the firemen would first stop to check if you were insured by their particular brigade, and if they discovered that you were not insured or insured by another company, they would simply hop back on the truck and drive off into the night as your possessions roasted to a crisp and loved ones writhed to an agonizing death.  does that sound like a world you'd like to live in? 

to us in the 21st century such a tale seems cruel and impossible.  allow human beings to suffer a miserable death simply because they haven't signed up for the right company's services?  to put the dollar above the worth of a human life?  for-profit emergency rescue?  "absurd!" we cry.  quickly we recognize the attitudes and ideas involved in such a scenario as inhumane, mercenary and down-right evil.  but in fact, that is the way that things used to be in the not-so-distant past, both in the US and many other western countries. 

until the late 19-th century and early 20-th in some US cities, fire brigades were a paid service that one had to buy insurance for.  as different brigades formed and competed for business, there were even cases where one brigade would obstruct another brigade's arrival to the scene of a fire.  soon people began to see the dangerous road they were headed down and cities began to make firefighting a government service, a basic provision of life for each and every citizen. 

but have things really changed in america?  now imagine a different scenario:  a man who discovers he is dying of cancer walks into a hospital.  his situation is indeed life-threatening, but before a doctor will even step within 10 ft. of him, he must prove that he is a subscriber to an insurance company.  and if he is subscribed to a company that particular hospital does not accept, he is sent out.  and if he has no insurance?  will he be left to writhe to an agonizing death at home in his bed as the victims of a fire in less enlightened days?  protect and save human life... for profit!?!?  yet, where are the cries of "absurd"!  how come americans have come to accept this as a perfectly normal part of life? 

ah, but let's go back to our original story:  what if that same fire brigade upon arriving, finds that the house ablaze is indeed one of its clients.  yet, before expending any of its energy or water it discovers that your house had hazardous electric wiring before you bought your insurance policy.  imagine then that despite the fact that you are its client, the brigade still turns around and drives off into the night because your house had a "pre-existing condition" that you did not warn them about before purchasing their insurance. 

thankfully things never got that bad with the fire dept. but in the states people are all too familiar with that excuse from health insurance companies.  is it not just as mercenary that the insurance companies are willing to sacrifice human life to generate more profit?  is it not sickeningly ironic that places with names like "good samaritan", "st. luke's", and even "holy redeemer" are ready to turn away a dying man whose life they could easily save, simply because he cannot cough up the ridiculous amount of money they ask?  somehow i don't think that's the same "good samaritan" Jesus spoke about, who gave out of his own pocket to care for a wounded fellow human being. 

the US is the only country of the industialized nations that does not supply health care to its citizens as a basic human right.  US citizens pay the highest per capita average for health care IN THE WORLD, and yet in a 2000 worldwide study by the World Health Organization, the US ranked only 37 out of 191 countries in overall health care; beat out by even columbia, morocco and costa rica. (read the article here) 

you may have noticed on my "currently watching" michael moore's sicko which is about the health care system in america.  now, i'd like to give the caveat that i do NOT agree with the huge majority of mr. moore's political stances and generally lop-sided, partisan rhetoric.  however, the information in this movie is VITAL for every american to stop and think on.  (and he takes a swing at hill as well as george w. in the film)  if you watch it, try to forget the other things he's produced and just take it as-is and weigh it in your own mind.  the information about the fire dept. is not mentioned in the movie.  that was my own research.  this documentary simply made me interested to find out about the situation. 

i think its interesting that i've not not heard one single american evangelical christian i know talk about this issue.  plenty about prayer in schools, abortion, immigration laws and other such hot-button issues.  but doesn't callously allowing men to die, denying them the treatment that could save their lives just to make one's wallet thicker seem a crime on the same level as abortion?  if Jesus were a doctor (and indeed He is the Great Physician) would He let that happen?  there are ways to get involved and find out more.  if you're interested, google: "US National Health Insurance Act" (also known as HR676 - read full text here) - a bill in the House of Reps. now that has gained much momentum in the last few months which proposes health care for every US citizen as a basic human right provided for by the government.

i live in a country with a "universal health care" system and though there are flaws it is pretty great to be able to go to the pharmacy and know that i can purchase just about any kind of drug i need for under $6.  its nice to be able to go to the hospital whenever i feel i need to without worry about if my insurance company will cover the cost.  when we first moved to svitlovodsk i got sick with something crazy and had a fever of 104 (40C).  my wife call the "ambulance" and they came within 20min. and administered the shots i needed to bring the temperature down and gave me a prescription to get.... for FREE.  ukraine's flaws with its health care system are largely a result of lack of resources and rampant corruption in the government in genereal (both problems which are absent in the US).  and even with all its problems, the concept itself is pretty great.  watch the documentary, check out the subject matter, take a stance.  peace out.

btw, i'd be very interested to hear people's thoughts on this.

bruised reeds and profit yields

i was reading in Matthew 12 today where it quotes from Isaiah about Jesus saying, "a bruised reed He will not break, and smoking flax He will not quench."  those lines really hit me as i read them.  i thought to myself, "how often is that not the attitude i have, that Christians in general have?"  its so easy to relate to people with what i'd call a utilitarian christianity; a cold, mechanical and morbidly logical approach to others.  see, utilitarianism (for those who are unfamiliar with that idea) says "the greatest good for the greatest amount of people with the least amount of pain".  sounds nice, right?  but it stresses the actual "utility" or usefulness of an object, action, or person to the exclusion of other assets.  it is the basic law employed in economics and business today: an object/action's intrinsic worth is measured by its "profit yield", how much money it will make you.  and if it is an endeavor whose yield doesn't outweigh the risk of failure or justify the time/resources put into it, the endeavor is canned. 

"gee, i didn't expect to get an economics lesson out of Matthew 12" you might be thinking.  you're right: you won't.  see, that is the way that this world thinks.  it is the way that we think, whether we realize it or not.  we've been taught it since grade school and its only gotten worse from there.  especially in the profit driven, corporation-ruled 21st century in which we live it seems near impossible to even consider another approach.   but Jesus' way of thinking is decidedly different.  i'm not trying to debate one economic system/philosophy over another here (i actually hated economics in school).  the issue that  concerns us as Christians is when we allow this utilitarianism to leak over from our wallets and infect our relationships with other human beings; when this philosophy begins to dictate not merely where we put our savings (albeit also an important spiritual question) but how we treat our neighbor.

so now we come back to the words written to describe how Jesus relates to people, words spoken by the Father Himself to describe His Son: "a bruised reed He will not break and a smoking flax He will not quench."  think about those pictures in your head for a minute.  a "bruised" reed - that is, the stalk of a plant that has been crushed.  some careless passer-by has trampled it in his rough haste, or perhaps it has been rolled over by a cart carrying what some merchant thought to be more precious... or a number of other scenarios that could have damaged the tender plant.  and then picture a man coming by and seeing this bruised reed.  now, i know if this was me my tendency would be to simply, without hesitation, take that limp, crushed, barely-hanging-on-to-life stalk and snap it clean off.  after all, its highly doubtful that the reed will recover from such a blow, and to try and nurse it back to health would take an immense amount of attention, time, care.... and in the end it'd still be possible than nothing would come of it.  wouldn't it be easier to just go on to the next reed and try to do a better job of protecting that one?  really, what kind of man would go to all that trouble with such a great investment of himself and such an unsure chance of success?   Jesus, that's who.  with each of us who has been trampled, crushed, beaten aside by those who are too busy, too greedy or just not watching Jesus does not snap us off, but slowly, patiently pours over us His love and care to nurse us back to health.

the "smoking flax" - the smoldering wick of a candle or oil lamp.  it was burning bright at one point, but for one reason or another that fire has gone out.  there is now only a faint, phantom hint of what used to be.  perhaps the wind of a storm has picked up and extinguished the flame.  maybe the flame was smothered by something set on top of the lamp, or maybe its just come to the end of the wick.  now, think far back in your minds to the days before bic lighters...  even further back to days before matches.  it was not a simple task to get a smoking flax burning again.  the person who set himself to this had to blow and blow with all his might till he was blue in the face.  again, why not just let it go out?  why expend so much for what seems like such a little (and unlikely) result?  but Jesus is that Man who came and comes to each of us as the weight of the world has smothered us, as the storms of life have diminished our blaze to weak glow, when we are at the end of our wick, and He lovingly works on us, pouring out His own life till we find ours again. 

i am so thankful that Jesus does this, is this.  if He were not so nurturing and patient, i would be without hope.  but here's the question: do i pour over, pour out to others in the same way?  or in a utilitarian fashion do i just say "he's too much trouble, forget it"?  am i snapping off bruised reeds, brothers and sisters who are barely hanging on?  am i ready to just let those whose fire's gone out lose the last glow of life, or will i breathe what life is given me into them and pray they might ignite once more?  it costs much, the result is unsure if not unlikely, and if successful, the outcome is not something that will impress most people in our utilitarian society, even the all-too-utilitarian church.  not one for the economics textbooks.  but that is who Jesus is.  that is what it means to walk like He did, to experience Him working through me.  God, give me a heart to neither break the bruised reed nor quench the smoking flax.